Vampire Jokes

What does a vampire fear most? 
Tooth decay.

Why doesn't anyone like Count Dracula? 
He's a pain in the neck.

Why did the vampire's lunch give him heartburn? 
It was a stake sandwich.

What is a vampire's favorite fruit? 

• A neck-tarine.

Why does Dracula consider himself a good artist? 

• Because he likes to draw blood!

Who did Dracula take out on a date? 

• His ghoul friend!

What is the best way to talk to Count Dracula?

• Long distance.

How does a girl vampire flirt? 

• She bats her eyes.

Was Dracula ever married? 

• No he's a bat-chelor.

Where does Dracula keep his valuables? 

• In a blood bank.

What did the teacher say to Dracula after he failed his math test? 

• Can't you count Dracula?

What is red, sweet and bites people? 

• A jampire !

What is Dracula's favourite flavour ice cream? 

• Veinilla.

What's Dracula's favourite coffee? 

• Decoffinated.

What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot? 

• A bite in shining armour!