Author Confession: dealing with #Rejection

At a visit to a school to present my books recently, a seventh-grader asked me how I deal with criticism. I have tried and failed a number of times to get UK and US agents interested in representing my book and every 'no, thanks' is a sharp pain that for a time makes me feel angry, depressed, and a failure. But it doesn't last. And I keep trying. 

How to handle criticism and rejection

I've learned to deal with it because I had to. The year I finished Books 1 & 2, I initially applied to 15 agents. One of them took my manuscript and spent a month reviewing it only to say 'no, thanks' after my hopes were built up. I didn't even ask her 'why?' I was so shocked, I just thanked her for her time and that was that. I've regretted not fighting ever since. Finding someone who believes in your work and in you is like finding a needle in a haystack, unless you get extremely lucky on the first try like Stephenie Meyer did. :)

Think about it. You have a book which you poured your heart and soul into. You love your characters, you receive positive reviews, you KNOW you have something special that people will love as much as you do. You've edited, polished, done your research and prepared what you think is a great promotion letter. But the day you send it to an agent (these days by email), you put it almost completely in the hands of fate. Fate that the email is seen quickly. Fate that the agent is looking for just your kind of book (you have to do some research first to be sure they are actually looking for new authors and to know which genre they're interested in). Fate that the agent is feeling positive and didn't spill coffee on his/her shirt or get stuck in a traffic jam that morning. Fate that your introduction letter is enough to get them to read the first chapter or synopsis.

If everything goes the right way, the agent will ask to see more. Nine times out of ten this doesn't happen. You get rejected or (worse!) you hear nothing at all.

After that rejection from the agent I mentioned above, I stopped writing Book 3 and concentrated on other areas of my life. So I didn't handle the rejection of my "life's work" well- I gave up, turned away. The break was good but the vampires wouldn't let me rest for long- the inspiration kept knocking on my door and so at last I started writing again. I wrote for myself, as I had the first two books- with (almost) no thought of marketing or selling or making something of it beyond the confines of my computer.

Self-publishing on Amazon was the freedom I needed to be able to get my books out into the world without needing the approval and praise of an agent first. Of course, sales thereafter have depended completely on my own efforts to advertise, organize reviews and offer promotions. It takes work and time (and sometimes money) and I am only now pushing myself harder to make it happen.

Rejection hurts. It has made me cry and feel weak, tired and sad. But I have kept getting up, kept remembering the good things I have and the love I have from and for my family. And I remember how much I love my vampires- the characters that started in my head and heart and then spilled out onto the page. Characters other people have come to love, too. 

Even if I never become a best-selling author, I at least know I've told the story- Dea's story- that Fate was demanding I tell. 
And I remember that some people have been so touched and pulled into the depths of my story that they tell me: "Your books changed my life!" 
That little gem I keep close to my heart.